Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Just When Things Were Going Well...

So, today was the first time in a while I felt overwhelmed and like a failure. Basically the advisory I ran today fell apart. The students were so rowdy and I couldn't control it. I wasn't sure if I should discipline them because they are our advisory and therefore it should be different than the regular class periods. However, I didn't and it was too late. My mentor teacher asked how I thought it went and I told him that it was my fault because I wasn't as prepared as I thought I should be. He told me that he didn't think that at all. He actually thought I was very prepared.

One of the problems I notice I'm having is that I have selective hearing. I never catch anything my MT does. Apparently, one girl right in front of me called another student "cripple" because last year he was on crutches. I did not hear this at all but my MT in the back of the room heard it (and our classroom is very big). I just feel so crappy right now.

My MT said that I lost control of them today, but tomorrow I need to come back and bring it back together. He told me that when you start off with a class you have to be a b***** so they don't run around me. He told me how to get the class back tomorrow. I need to have them silently answer the warm up and they need to sit every other seat with no one sitting at the computer. The kids who are going to cause the biggest disturbance I need to move to the back of the room. Then I need to apologize and say that it was my fault for how class went yesterday because I had assumed that we were all at a place where we could watch a video and answer questions without everyone talking at once. I need to say that yesterday was on my but today is on them. Basically, tomorrow is a silent day and if they can prove that they can work silently than we'll try again in the film tomorrow.

He said that if I just let them run all over me in advisory it will seep into the classes and I'll never have control. He said that it was good that it only happened in advisory and he also said that he'd rather have it happen this year with him in the classroom than next year when I have a class of my own. I agree. I'm just so stressed and frustrated. I haven't been able to sleep lately, especially last night. I was woken up at 12:20 and couldn't call back asleep until 3:30 and then I had to be up again at 6:30. Plus, I was so nervous to run the seminar because it wasn't my creation and I'm nervous about starting classes at UC again.

On the bright side we're taking the students to the zoo tomorrow for another class! I'm so excited that I get to go to the zoo for free. Teaching has it's perks! Please pray for me though, I just feel so weak (not physically, but mentally). Plus, other aspects of my life are creeping back in and bringing me down. I don't want this to get in the way of my energy for my students. They don't deserve it from me.

I forgot to take a picture of my outfit this morning. Basically, the last 20 hours have been pretty awful, and I should have seen it coming. But I did take this picture with my webcam! I made Pumpkin Spice Iced Coffee!

Here's how to make it:
  • Freeze coffee in an ice cube tray.
  • Cool a pot of coffee
  • Mix sweeten condensed milk and evaporated milk in a container and place in the fridge
  • Pour the coffee into a cup with the ice cubes, add as much creamer mixture as desired, mix in some pumpkin spice!
Mmm mmm mmm. Basically I needed that treat after a day like today!

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